Frogger IRL: not so much fun

via Yahoo! News:

"A man has been hospitalized after police in South Carolina say he was hit by an SUV while playing a real-life version of the video game "Frogger."
Before he was hit, police say the man (23) had been discussing the game with his friends...  [T]he man yelled "go" and darted into oncoming traffic in the four-lane highway.

What could have possibly possessed him to do a thing like that? I mean, it had to have been a dare, or he was on shrooms or something... Well, I guess there could be worse ways to accidentally commit suicide...~MP

I knew it: step by step instructions on how to piss me off are available online...

via NerdBastards.com:

"How Trollquotes work:

1) Get a picture of someone people idolize...2) Slap on a famous quotation from a similar character from a different book or movie...3) Attribute the quotation to a third character, from yet a third universe... 

...It’s really just a step-by-step, 1-2-3, easy process on evoking nerd rage..."

...and they have succeeded... *throb* ~MP

Because you can only do so much with a sentence or two...

via Flickr

Sometimes I'll have moments in time where nothing phases me and all is right with the world... that is, until something comes along that just throws me so far for a loop that a tiny graphic and a quick quip are nowhere near enough to relieve the pressure in my head.

Enter Maria's Outlet: The place where I will be venting on the things that are just too big for the little, internet-related WTFs that I sometimes come across in my daily, online travails... First post: the unspoken exception to "The Customer is Always Right"...

...if you're interested in hearing my opinion on bigger issues. If you're one for the quicker WTFs, I'm sure the trolls are just waiting with baited breath for me to return to the fray... stay tuned. ~MP

What Not To Do, Pt. 3

via SeñorGif.com:

Yes children, this is one of the ultimate mistakes. Always remember to keep a handle on your weapon and never let your victim get a hold of it!~MP

The Good Mindf*ck

via SeñorGif.com:

I've always loved the good mindf*ck. Something that makes you stop and think hard. Be it something like messing with perception:

to the downright WTF...

"With lighter skin they could be more successful."

via NotTheNation.com:

"Responding to international criticism that its initial donation of $20,000 was insufficient, the Thai government has generously added 50,000 bottles of whitening skin cream to its aid shipment to earthquake-stricken Haiti.

'Thailand is a compassionate nation,' said Foreign Minister Kasit Piromya. 'We noticed in the news that the Haitians are all very dark-skinned. This is surely one of the reasons they are living in poverty. With lighter skin they could be more successful.'"

Because dark skin explains all the world's poverty problems... XP ~MP

Lots of Sick People in the World

via ExplainThisImage.com:

This is way to many fetishes for just one image. XP ~MP

What Not To Do, Pt. 2

via NYTimes.com:

"A crude car bomb of propane, gasoline and fireworks was discovered in a smoking Nissan Pathfinder in the heart of Times Square on Saturday evening, prompting the evacuation of thousands of tourists and theatergoers on a warm and busy night. Although the device had apparently started to detonate, there was no explosion, and early on Sunday the authorities were still seeking a suspect and motive."

...the bomb started to detonate... that's the most disturbing part... of course, the mistake here is having a bomb that uses fireworks to set some gas cans on fire, which would subsequently set off some propane canisters... at least, that's what it sounds like from the NY Times article. Thankfully, only the fireworks went off... Excellent plan, bad demolitions guy... you know he got his balls cut off for that cock up...

Seriously, though, I'm glad nothing bad happened... *shivers*~MP

What A Way To Get Dumped

My husband threw me for a loop when he showed me this one the other day:

"If you don't get it now, you never will."

And you know that poor girl probably knew he was going to be on and was ready and waiting for her boyfriend's segment. I can totally hear her heart explode... ~MP

That Is Flexibility!

via PictureIsUnrelated.com:
Said poster Plague:

"Of all the horrors on Link’s adventures, nothing is as horrifying as touching the dirty, dirty subway floor. The Princess owes him big for this…"

Their not joking, man... Not in NYC... ~MP

This WAS Topical Once...

via theCHIVE.com:
For the OCD guy down the hall with the VHS collection and the new DVD player. ~MP

The Next Generation of Strawberry?

via EnglishRussia.com:

"Such strange strawberries have appeared in Siberia. Biologists can’t figure out the reason for those berries to change their appearance in such manner."

...am I the only one that sees that it looks like the seeds sprouted? ~MP

"...otherwise known as 'Mail'..."

via WorldOddities.com:

"Paper e-mail is the sort of thing a secretary would find funny, but it should also be noted that the average secretary lacks both a heart and a sense of humor."

Being a secretary who actually found this hilarious, I'm beginning to doubt my sense of humor. ~MP

Betrayed by Your Prostate Problems...

Another criminal story, via Yahoo! News:

"An alleged ill-timed potty break has landed a man accused of robbing a Suffolk convenience store behind bars. Police said 43-year-old Sean Almond was found urinating behind a Kangaroo Mart minutes after a clerk reported the store had been robbed Thursday night. Police said Almond was carrying the stolen cash."

Dude, seriously? You couldn't hold it for another block or two? ~MP

What Not To Do, Pt. 1

The best thing about blogs, they just keep going. The best thing about stupid criminals, they just keep coming, despite all the examples of what not to do floating around, like this shining example found on YouTube:

Real or not, I kind of feel bad for the first guy in the video, because he didn't really do anything (that we see). You see, when his friend, who shows up after finding a couple of good throwin' rocks, throws one at the store's Plexiglas window, it bounces off, clocking the first guy (mistake #1). Mr. Friend, who's too absorbed in his task to realize his cohort is lying unconscious behind him (mistake #2), throws another rock, which also bounces off and window and hits him square in the head (mistake#3).

:-L ~MP

Okay, I swear there's logic behind this one...

via Uphaa.com:

I feel awful for this kid, since this photo has been everywhere, as far as I've seen. While it is a traditional Indian symbol, almost any other place on the planet and he'd have several gaping, bleeding holes in him.... ~MP

Wee!

via EnglishRussia.com
Okay, while I totally respect the mental and physical condition of the guys that perform parkour, seeing stuff like this just makes me wonder how many times did someone not make it... ~MP

Giant Target...

via Uphaa.comBeing in NYC (and being a former NYCer), an image like this can only solicit one of two things: a giggle from people without children, or an ice pick in the throat from those with...

Instigated Quadraplegia

via There I Fixed It:

I mean, seriously? By the time you'd hear the wood cracking, it'd be too late to keep you from being folded flat in half. And that's if no neighborhood kids come by and kick those beams out from under your truck... ~MP

One fart away from "Crispy Fried Redneck"

via There I Fixed It:

I do have to hand it to them for ingenuity, but what the hell? You'd risk electrocution for what? Not having to step out of the pool for a freshly grilled hot dog? ~MP